1BN Contributor: Does Being 'Wedding Day Pretty' Mean Ditching Natural Hair?

Kimberly J. Childs' rocking a beautiful puff for her wedding day (photo cred: Kimberly J. Childs)

Kimberly J. Childs

Just had an awesome conversation with one of my besties, a gorgeous woman with locs to die, kill and steal for! She told me about a talk she had with an engaged woman, also with beautiful locs. My friend asked her, “How do you plan to do your hair for the wedding?” The woman replied, “I'm cutting my locs off, I want to be pretty that day!”

Well ladies and gents, here it is. This woman has grown out beautiful locs for years, only to chop them off, to be pretty. Why? Her locs do not meet the standard of “wedding day pretty”, apparently. Hearing this truly made my soul sad. I also nearly dropped my drink! So, after gathering my thoughts, and grasping my margarita, I thought:

1. Have you felt unpretty all of these years?

2. Why did you go natural in the first place, if your highest standard of pretty requires a weave or relaxer?

3. The Sista she said this to, has locs! Way to insult yourself, and a friend. Thank God my bestie is truly confident in her own skin, and locs! This did not phase her fine-ness, at all!

If your natural hair isn't pretty enough to be worn on the biggest day of your life, why is it “tolerable” on other days? Come on sis, we can do so much with our natural hair. So much. Straight, curly, up dos, side dos, everything. Personally, the thought never crossed my mind to weave up or relax my crowning glory for my wedding day. I wanted my husband to recognize me, first of all. I was not strutting down that aisle, unrecognizable to my husband. More importantly, I needed to be recognizable to myself...

Everyone's standard of pretty is different. This is ok, it's what life is all about, diversity. However, what is this young lady going to chop off next, to feel pretty? First her locs. Next, an eyebrow? Then an ear, but only if our world decides it's hot to rock just one ear. It's dramatic, but I need to get my point across, and here it is. Set your own standard of pretty! Don't allow the world to set it for you. This way, your standard of pretty changes when YOU change it, no one else.

What do you think?

Kimberly J. Childs is a freelance writer from Chicago who loves traveling, church activities, and natural hair. Please visit her website to check out more about her.

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